I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
