Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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