nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize