I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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