I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
