You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
