Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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