Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
