Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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