I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
