he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
