if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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