Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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