i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
