Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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