Me too!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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