I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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