lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
