Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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