wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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