It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
