Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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