Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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