Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
