I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
