Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
