Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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