'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize