oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
