yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize