And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
