No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
