Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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