How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
