I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
