I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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