as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
