I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
