Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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