Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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