I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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