Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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