hotel room ftw
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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