you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
