Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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