I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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