was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
