literally had 100 drinks last night.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
