so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize