'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
