Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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