great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
