Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
