party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
