This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize