Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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