no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
