he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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