I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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