I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize