Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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