The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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